Work it - Own it

As a big girl, it is important to start owning your life decisions, and this includes the bad ones. There comes a time when we all need to be held accountable for our lives. "It's not my fault," is one of the most wretched phrases to ever grace the English language. Almost everything in your life is at least partially your fault. Sometimes things happen that are out of our control - like being blindsided in an intersection because some fool is texting and driving. But most of the things in our life are attributable to us.

For example, if you are currently working in a job that you hate, it's up to you to fix it. You are the one who accepted the job, and you are the one that is reaping the consequences. Yes, I know that there are bills to pay and obligations to be met. But no situation is permanent. Use your daily discord to identify what it is you really want to do. We have to spend approximately 45-50 years of our lives working, and there's no use being miserable on a daily basis. Take an assessment of what you like, what inspires you and transferable skills and change your career. Find out what it takes to make this a reality and do it. No excuses.

If leaving your job is really not a reality at this time, it's up to you to change your reaction to it. Find extracurricular activites that you love. The more your free time is occupied with things that you are passionate about, the easier it is to toil away at a less than perfect job. Get a journal and write down things that you appreciate about your job. There's got to be at least one thing that you like. Is it your coworkers? Your industry? People that you meet everyday? Write these things on a sticky note if you have to.

Next, if you really want a boyfriend, then it's up to you to make it happen! (But there's no good men out there; all the good ones are taken; I'll never find anyone as good as my ex; blah, blah blah. I've used every exuse in the book. You don't get my sympathy.) Although, I will preface this by saying that you need to unpack your bags before you can have a healthy relationship. If you keep attracting douchebags, you need to figure out why and clear the old "issues" out of your life. You can only attract a healthy relationship if you are in a healthy state of mind. Otherwise, all of the good ones will eventually be driven away by your neediness, clinginess, jealousy, coldness, daddy issues, etc.

One you've unloaded your baggage, go out and mingle! Contrary to popular belief, it is possible to meet people in other places than a bar or on dating websites (although it is trickier in a smaller location). My main advice is to stop looking and go places you enjoy. If you are outdoorsy, join a hiking group or an outside workout class such as bootcamp or a coed, adult sports league. If you love art, take a painting class, or attend some lectures at the art museum. Catch my drift? Doing things that you enjoy puts you in an environment to meet people who share common interests. You need to get out there and do things. Mr. Right is not going to knock on your door while you are at home in your pj's eating cookie dough ice cream and watching season 1 of The Vampire Diaries on Netflix (although the guys in TVD are pretty hot). They invented DVR so that we could all go out and have lives.

Being accountable is tough and it takes practice. For this reason, enlist some good friends to help you stick to it. Make lists of smaller steps that you can take to achieve your goals. And for the love of Pete, please own the fact that you are responsible for your life. Don't play the blame game. Don't employ the green-eyed monster. Other people may have things that you want, but you don't know their circumstances. Maybe they worked day and night to get where they are. Maybe their "charmed" life includes parents who they never talk to. Maybe their "perfect" marriage isn't as perfect as you think it is. We all have our own lots in life. Your life is yours, so own it.