As little girls, we were always told some variation of the same story. Damsel in distress is rescued by the handsome prince and they get married and live happily ever after. As we got older, this theme was not-so-subtly parroted by the movies we came to know and love. Remember that part in Pretty Woman when Richard Gere "rescues" Julia Roberts from the tower? Bleh. Or how about when Jack rescues Rose from her awful princess existence on Titanic. Okay, so that is different, because he dies, and they don't live happily ever after. I digress. I will not even begin to expound on Edward Cullen, except to say that millions of women around the world have fallen in love with a fictional character.
Then there is the old standby - the Romantic Comedy. These aren't as formulaic and easy to break down, but suffice it to say that they are still selling us the "every girl can get the perfect guy," fantasy. Like, he just lives down the street and is going to bump into you someday with his shirt off and his 12-pack glistening in the sun as he offers to help you move your couch/stereo/heavy box, etc.
I have to admit that even as I settle into my 30s and drift ever closer to the 34-43 box, I am still looking for the total package. Call me shallow, but I want someone who is perfect for me with a great personality who brings out the best qualities in me wrapped up in a pretty package. Yes, I know that it is giving in to the fantasy of it all, but I can't help it. I know that being super picky limits options, and it might be severely limiting my dating pool, but I don't care. Hand me a Joe Manganiello clone with a sense of humor like Jimmy Fallon and some brains, and I will be happy.
Although I do realize that these are unrealistic expectations. And guess what? When you find that guy, he won't be perfect. After the honeymoon phase wanes and you've lived together for awhile, there will be issues. He's going to leave his dirty undies on the floor. He's still gonna tear up the bathroom on occasion. He's still gonna be hanging out with his friends and playing video games on the couch when you want to have one on one time. He might burn dinner once in awhile or not be psychic enough to know what's wrong when you say "fine."
Guys are guys. "Perfect" doesn't exist. Edward Cullen isn't out there. Now, I'm not saying that you need to completely lower your standards. You don't have to date a guy who sponges off of you while he's waiting for his band to make it. You don't need someone who puts you down, or makes you feel bad about yourself. And lastly, you simply don't NEED a guy to complete you. Find someone who brings out your best qualities and make him yours. But don't rely on him for your own self esteem. Do your own shit and take care of yourself. Then and only then can you find the "perfect" relationship. But remember to cut him some slack too.
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