Bride Wars

What is it about weddings that make women go off the deep end? From Bridezillas to Muriel's Wedding to Bride Wars, Hollywood has cashed in on the lengths that women will go to to have the perfect wedding. To be fair, not every woman that gets married goes off the deep end. Some women manage to be calm and collected throughout the planning process.

Liv and Emma in the aftermath of "it's all about me"

But this post isn't about them. It's about the anal retentive, stressed out crazy girls who morph from really nice people into monsters simply because someone put a ring on it. All of a sudden, her whole world revolves around hair stylists and flowers, dresses, cakes and photographers. Who's in, who's out, what's everyone wearing? It's exhausting.

The bride with the overzealous family

While we're at it, let's talk about bridesmaids for a minute. More than a few friendships have been ruined over bridesmaids. Either someone's feelings are hurt because they aren't in the wedding, or someone feels like they've gone above and beyond the call of duty and haven't been acknowledged. Bridesmaids are expected to fork over tons of money for dresses, venues, parties and more. Every once in awhile, there will be a maid of honor who expects everyone to attend high class events, and let's face it... when you're young and starting out, there isn't always money for such things. (For a hilarious spin on this conundrum, check out the movie Bridesmaids.)

On the other hand, brides have to put up with a lot of shit too. From the jealous friend who wants to make sure that the spotlight is on her, to the family that has to weigh in on every little thing, life isn't always fine and dandy for the bride.

So what is the deal? When did all of the wedding mumbo jumbo get so out of hand? Was it Charles and Di, or did it happen before that? Weddings are supposed to be a celebration of love and a joining of families. When did it become necessary to spend a gajillion dollars for one day? Are we trying to one up each other? Are we trying to impress people?

Don't get so caught up in the day that you crumble into bride land and forget every single person around you. Make sure that you are still communicating with your friends about something other than your impending wedding. Ask them what's up with them once in awhile. Don't forget to take breaks from the planning and be the person you really are for a few hours a week.

Oh Muriel. So desperate to get married that she finds a man in the paper.

And friends of the bride, this isn't about you. While it's okay to stick up for yourself if your bride is making you spend more than you feel comfortable with, don't criticize every decision. Better yet, if you know you can't afford to be a bridesmaid, turn her down. Just say, "Hey, I'm happy for you, but I don't have money to spend on a dress, bridal shower, bachelorette party, etc." And if you're jealous because you aren't the one getting married. Swallow it. Now is not the time for you to get ugly. You don't have to show up to the wedding in a sexy dress and hook up with the groomsmen simply because you can.

Better yet, let's quit trying to outdo one another over a day. It's one day out of your entire life. Your focus should be on what comes afterwards, not being a pretty princess. Don't get married simply for the wedding. Make sure that your man is really the one that you want to have and to hold for better or worse, etc.