Although we've all been told not to judge a book by its cover, most of us can't help it. When we meet people we tend to make snap decisions on whether or not we like them. For some of us, this can hinder our likelihood of getting to know the person, which could be a bad thing. A good portion of my current besties are people who I didn't like when I first met them.
How many of you are women who have a checklist in mind for a man? Be honest. (I'll be honest too. I fit the bill on this issue. I've got the perfect boyfriend in mind who is just the right combination of surfer boy meets GQ cover model, but I digress.) Does this checklist only involve superficial trates such as looks, manner of dress, job, etc.? This is typically Bad News Bears and a reason to examine the reasoning behind it.
I've always been somewhat of a commitment-phobe. When I was in my 20s, I was the girl who could find anything wrong with a date. I once rejected a perfectly good guy simply because his name was Blaine. I lined them up and subsequently knocked them down, always on the hunt for the bigger better deal. I must admit that I still have not gotten over this. As a big girl, I know that it's not very likely to find the perfect companion, but I'd still like to.
So why am I telling you what to do in this matter? Hopefully, some of you can learn from my mistakes. Rather than lining them up and knocking them down, maybe some of these guys should be given a shot. I know from experience that just because a guy has a million tattoos does not mean that he is a hard-partying douche stick. Maybe he is a perfectly nice guy who likes tattoos. You never know unless you give him a shot.
Although I am not completely successful in taking my own advice in this matter, I have gotten to the point where I no longer roll my eyes and act like a total beyotch to anyone that approaches me in a bar. Like a kitten who bites and scratches at any given moment, I have mellowed in my old age. And this matter has definitely caused me to seek out the deep seeded issues which must be overcome.
For my fellow commitment-phobes, the issues could run the gamut from Daddy issues, to low self esteem, to any number of issues. For me personally, the issue lies in a chance to experience everything that life has to offer. I want to see everything that there is to see and do everything that there is to do. I want to go out there and make all of my dreams come true, and I guess there is a small part of me who thinks that getting married would effectively put the kibosh on all of this. I don't want to be told what to do, how to spend my money, where to live, etc. I like not having to consult someone if I want to go on vacation. I guess you can call me selfish. Hopefully in the future, I can write to all of you about the confessions of a former ice queen.
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