Sometimes the Clothes do not Make the Man

Although we've all been told not to judge a book by its cover, most of us can't help it. When we meet people we tend to make snap decisions on whether or not we like them. For some of us, this can hinder our likelihood of getting to know the person, which could be a bad thing. A good portion of my current besties are people who I didn't like when I first met them.

How many of you are women who have a checklist in mind for a man? Be honest. (I'll be honest too. I fit the bill on this issue. I've got the perfect boyfriend in mind who is just the right combination of surfer boy meets GQ cover model, but I digress.) Does this checklist only involve superficial trates such as looks, manner of dress, job, etc.? This is typically Bad News Bears and a reason to examine the reasoning behind it.

I've always been somewhat of a commitment-phobe. When I was in my 20s, I was the girl who could find anything wrong with a date. I once rejected a perfectly good guy simply because his name was Blaine. I lined them up and subsequently knocked them down, always on the hunt for the bigger better deal. I must admit that I still have not gotten over this. As a big girl, I know that it's not very likely to find the perfect companion, but I'd still like to.

So why am I telling you what to do in this matter? Hopefully, some of you can learn from my mistakes. Rather than lining them up and knocking them down, maybe some of these guys should be given a shot. I know from experience that just because a guy has a million tattoos does not mean that he is a hard-partying douche stick. Maybe he is a perfectly nice guy who likes tattoos. You never know unless you give him a shot. 

Although I am not completely successful in taking my own advice in this matter, I have gotten to the point where I no longer roll my eyes and act like a total beyotch to anyone that approaches me in a bar. Like a kitten who bites and scratches at any given moment, I have mellowed in my old age. And this matter has definitely caused me to seek out the deep seeded issues which must be overcome.

For my fellow commitment-phobes, the issues could run the gamut from Daddy issues, to low self esteem, to any number of issues. For me personally, the issue lies in a chance to experience everything that life has to offer. I want to see everything that there is to see and do everything that there is to do. I want to go out there and make all of my dreams come true, and I guess there is a small part of me who thinks that getting married would effectively put the kibosh on all of this. I don't want to be told what to do, how to spend my money, where to live, etc. I like not having to consult someone if I want to go on vacation. I guess you can call me selfish. Hopefully in the future, I can write to all of you about the confessions of a former ice queen.

Stuff, stuff and more stuff

As I have previously mentioned, one of my favorite movies ever is Confessions of a Shopaholic. There is one line in particular that speaks to me. A broken down Rebecca Bloomwood stands by a pond with her father (played by John Goodman) who offers to sell the trailer to help pay off her enormous debt. She says, "I'll kill you if you sell it. It totally defines you."

To which he replies, "Nothing defines me, except you and your mother."

Which brings me to the point. In the United States, it seems that we are completely obsessed with stuff. Everyone is always on the hunt for the bigger better deal. If your friend goes out and gets a Coach bag, the competitive cheerleader in all of us wants to go out and get a bigger one, or better yet, get a Louis Vuitton.

There's a new term on the streets called the $30,000 millionaire. We are so busy trying to keep up appearances that we are willing to go tens of thousands of dollars into debt for it. Which begs the question: Is all that shit really worth it? I mean, what do you really have left over after you are done? A bunch of stuff and a lot more debt. What good is it to look like a baller in your Escalade if you can't even afford to buy groceries? Eating Ramen noodles every night just because you want the same kind of car as Diddy is stupid.

In fact, the economic crash of 2008 and subsequent uber-recession was due in part to people trying too hard to keep up with the Joneses. Was it worth it, America?

Thankfully, there are plenty of ways to stay chic and trendy without maxing out the credit cards.
1. Consignment Stores - One way to get your ass into the hottest jeans is to buy a pair that have already been discarded by someone else. (No, it's not gross. It's why they invented laundry detergent. Get over it.)
2. Fast fashion retailers - If a trend is only going to be in style for a season or two, why go into debt over it? Stores like Forever 21 and H&M sell cheap, chic items that probably won't be in style next year. (Like my totally awesome bandana top that I wore everywhere during the summer of 2001. I miss you, bandana top.) Although, out of respect to Mama Earth, please give these to GoodWill or recycle them when you are finished.
3. (And most importantly) Realize That Stuff Doesn't Make You. Strip away the clothes, shoes and makeup and you're still the same old you. It doesn't take anything to make you who you are. Embrace yourself, and learn to like yourself without all of your stuff. You'll be a lot happier when you're not wasting all of your money on credit card bills.

Fashion files

My kindred spirit

I'll admit it. The Shopaholic novels and subsequent movie are among my favs. I feel as though Sophie Kinsella and I are kindred spirits. Like she's looked into my life and written about it. Okay, so I don't own a pair of Louboutins, and I'm not dating a cheeky Brit (although I haven't written this out as a possibility), but I do like to shop.

Unlike Rebecca Bloomwood, however, I am perfectly capable of window shopping. I don't know why, but I find malls to be relaxing. I like to look at the mannequins to get fashion ideas and then look for similar items online or at consignment shops. I also like to sit and look at people. One of my new favorite old movies is Breakfast at Tiffany's. I think Holly explains it all when she says, "The quietness and the proud look of it; nothing very bad could happen to you there."

My kindred part deux

So anyway, there is a point to all of the rambling. As I have spent a good amount of time in malls, I feel as though I have a grip on fashion. As such, I am hereby stating my sheer and utter confusion at the reemergence of jump suits and rompers. They have been all over the runways for the past few seasons.

While I agree that they do look cute and stylish, their function is beyond me. It's like wearing a giant onesie. In general, I am opposed to clothing that makes it impossible to pee behind the bushes without exposing your tatas. Not that I routinely pee behind the bushes, but even the thought of peeing in a public restroom with my bra exposed sort of skeeves me out a bit.

I sometimes wonder if people actually like the trends that they wear, or if they just wear them to look cool. Like, if Victoria Beckham (who will always be Posh to me) were to wear a cardboard cereal box and call it fashion, would millions of people then run out and buy said cereal box?

When it comes to fashion, I prefer mixing timeless pieces with pieces that I know will look great on me. A good pear of boyfriend jeans, a classic black pencil skirt, a good business suit, etc. Okay, so I'll admit I've added four pairs of sky high stilettos to my shoe collection as of late, but you know how it is.

Miss Blair, I love thee most of all

Fake it Till You Make It?

In the United States, we've long had an obsession with being beautiful. From the time that we are little, we play with perfect dolls, read teen magazines with beautiful models and watch beautiful women on tv. We now live in an age when any perceived "flaw" can be changed. We also live in an age in which the women that we see in magazines are photoshopped to beauty standards that are unattainable for even the women in the photos.

I'm not knocking people who go in and get plastic surgery. I think that if there is something that you don't like about yourself and you have the power to change it, by all means, do it. I do, however, think that a lot of surgeons are irresponsible in who they are treating. I think that the pre-op consultation should come with a psych evaluation.

Here's the thing... A plastic surgeon's job is to help you be the best version of you that you can be. It is not to turn you into someone else. Not even the most skilled surgeon can make you look like Megan Fox unless you've already got similar bone structure. If you get too much surgery, you end up looking weird and plastic-y. And don't we all agree that natural beauty is much more appealing?

Think about it.