If I were Invisible

Funny thing happened on the way to the forum today. I was at the movies by myself, as I frequently enjoy seeing movies solo. I'm not sure if this was out of pity or what, but I got hit on by the guy at the candy counter who couldn't have been more than 22-years-old. Not to toot my own horn, but it's nice to know that I've still got it.

Anyway, this got me to thinking that even at 31-years-old, I am far from comfortable in my own skin. As a gangly teen, I was not exactly the belle of the ball. I was shy, a little awkward and somewhat weird looking with big glasses and braces. In a small school, I was not used to being looked at as a "hot chick." I was always just there.

Then, something miraculous happened. By college, I had gotten contacts, the braces were gone, and I grew into my face as it were. All of a sudden, people were paying attention to me. It was an odd, if not acceptable phenomenon that still boggles the mind to this day. While I will admit that this is preferable to peaking in high school, even as a big girl, I am still awkward and uncomfortable around members of the opposite sex. The residual taunting of my childhood has led me to feel that it's impossible that people are really looking at me.

There are advantages to suffering from Ugly Duckling Syndrome. For one thing, when you can't get by on your looks, you are forced to develop a personality. As a result, I have a brain and a fantastic sense of humor. This leaves you as a full package. A woman who is hot and sexy, but still down to earth and relatable.

The problem with a lot of us Ugly Ducklings is that we still suffer from the crippling insecurity that plagued us in childhood. It's sort of like when someone who weighs 300 pounds gets thin. On the outside, they appear to have it together, but there is still an obese person inside. It takes awhile for the insides to match the outsides. When we aren't used to being the prom queen, we tend to shrivel up and hide when someone pays us any mind.

Well, my fellow Duckings, I am here to tell you that it can get easier. It can be tricky to untie the knots of psychological damage done in high school, but remember that you are a big girl now. You're not Josie Grossy anymore. Please, I implore you, whatever you're feeling on the inside, know that the opposite is true. You aren't that gangly, awkward girl anymore. Nobody's going to drop pig blood on you if you agree to go on a date with the cute guy. Besides, at least you didn't peak in high school.