Misappropriation of the word "literally"

I'm breaking free from the advice for a second to do a little venting, because I believe that big girls should have a common grasp of the English language (unless it is not your first language; in that case, you get a pass). While it's true that I have always been an exceptional English student, I still believe that it is courteous and polite to speak properly, especially in a professional setting.

I don't know if it is because of Rachel Zoe or what, but in the past few years, the word "literally" has become a filler word such as "like" or "uh." Nobody uses is correctly. I hear people say things like, "we were literally rolling on the floor," or "this team is literally on fire."

In fact this has become so commonplace that it was satirized on How I Met Your Mother in an episode regarding annoying habits. Here's an English lesson boys and girls.

lit·er·al·ly

/ˈlɪtərəli/ Show Spelled[lit-er-uh-lee]

–adverb

actually; without exaggeration or inaccuracy.

The city was literally destroyed.

fig·ur·a·tive 

adjective

of the nature of or involving a figure of speech, especially a metaphor; metaphorical; not literal: a figurative expression.

While I understand that it's not exactly polite to play the Grammar Nazi on a blog, I can't help it. I think that in the age of the 140 character thought - an age in which email has virtually replaced face-to-face communication, it's still important to be well spoken. People will take you more seriously.

For now, I would be okay with the literal, figurative issue. It's a start. A step in the right direction. Just don't get me started on apostrophes...

Men who talk funny

I'm not sure what it is, but the general consensus in my social circle is that men with foreign accents are hot. For some reason, hearing a man speak with an accent will up his hot factor by 50. Case in point - check out the men that everyone seems to agree on in terms of hotness:

Robert Pattinson (I in no way endorse this one personally.): Yes, we know. He's Edward, but then he speaks in his native British accent and women swoon even more. But let's face it. He's not really that good looking (at least not to me. Different strokes, I guess). Take R Patz and give him a different accent - say, Minnesotan - and I guarantee that his women quotient would drop by at least 20%. (That's not true; you'd have to take away the Twilight business too.) 

Sean Connery: The quintessential ladies' man, Scottsman Connery has had us swooning for decades. Even women my age think that there is something sexy about the former Mr. Bond. It's definitely due in part to the way he says "shaken, not stirred." If he were from Texas, he'd be no different than any other silver fox.

Antonio Banderas: Okay, so we haven't heard anything from Antonio as of late, but in the 90's, he was hot, hot, hot. One Banderas moment that comes to mind is that part of the movie Four Rooms in which the oh-so-dapper Banderas, dressed to the nines in a black tux, looked at his kids and said, "Don't misbehave." Two words. It's all it took to make me giggle like a school girl.

Gilles Marini: Okay, so I only added this one for selfish reasons. He's really not that famous yet, but this Frenchman is tres hot. (Well, women who've seen the Sex and the City movie understand that this one is about more than the accent, but I digress.)

Orlando Bloom: Yet another one in which I can not see the appeal. I personally think that his face is very feminine. But he is English, which to girls in America obviously means he's gorgeous. Hmm. It's a mystery.

I could go on and on about foreign men who are super hot (Maks and Dmitry from Dancing with the Stars, Ryan Kwanten from True Blood, Ed Westwick from Gossip Girl - [don't judge me]) but that would ruin the point of this blog.

Point being, there is more to a man than the way he speaks. I'll admit that I too, am a sucker for  foreign accents. But in reality, men are men regardless of where on the globe they hail from. If your personalities are incompatible, no amount of charm and personality can fix it. Plus, you have the added bonus of cultural differences to contend with. What happens when your Irish-born honey inadvertently offends your Grandma with his quirky sense of humor when you bring him to Thanksgiving dinner?

I'm not saying that you should never date foreign men. On the contrary. I think that the wider you expand your dating pool, the more likely you are to be successful. Just don't get lured in by the accent. When you find yourself on a date with a foreigner, ask yourself, "If this guy were from Arizona, would I like him as much?" If the answer is no, it's best to cut your losses and move on. If it is yes, then feel free to explore.

If I were Invisible

Funny thing happened on the way to the forum today. I was at the movies by myself, as I frequently enjoy seeing movies solo. I'm not sure if this was out of pity or what, but I got hit on by the guy at the candy counter who couldn't have been more than 22-years-old. Not to toot my own horn, but it's nice to know that I've still got it.

Anyway, this got me to thinking that even at 31-years-old, I am far from comfortable in my own skin. As a gangly teen, I was not exactly the belle of the ball. I was shy, a little awkward and somewhat weird looking with big glasses and braces. In a small school, I was not used to being looked at as a "hot chick." I was always just there.

Then, something miraculous happened. By college, I had gotten contacts, the braces were gone, and I grew into my face as it were. All of a sudden, people were paying attention to me. It was an odd, if not acceptable phenomenon that still boggles the mind to this day. While I will admit that this is preferable to peaking in high school, even as a big girl, I am still awkward and uncomfortable around members of the opposite sex. The residual taunting of my childhood has led me to feel that it's impossible that people are really looking at me.

There are advantages to suffering from Ugly Duckling Syndrome. For one thing, when you can't get by on your looks, you are forced to develop a personality. As a result, I have a brain and a fantastic sense of humor. This leaves you as a full package. A woman who is hot and sexy, but still down to earth and relatable.

The problem with a lot of us Ugly Ducklings is that we still suffer from the crippling insecurity that plagued us in childhood. It's sort of like when someone who weighs 300 pounds gets thin. On the outside, they appear to have it together, but there is still an obese person inside. It takes awhile for the insides to match the outsides. When we aren't used to being the prom queen, we tend to shrivel up and hide when someone pays us any mind.

Well, my fellow Duckings, I am here to tell you that it can get easier. It can be tricky to untie the knots of psychological damage done in high school, but remember that you are a big girl now. You're not Josie Grossy anymore. Please, I implore you, whatever you're feeling on the inside, know that the opposite is true. You aren't that gangly, awkward girl anymore. Nobody's going to drop pig blood on you if you agree to go on a date with the cute guy. Besides, at least you didn't peak in high school.