Recently, I was watching an episode of Sex in the City in which the newly converted (and recently single) Charlotte goes to the temple in search of a nice Jewish man to replace Harry. There was a moment in the episode in which a dejected Charlotte says, "I don't just want any Jew, I want MY Jew." (Or something to that effect.)
I think that this happens more often than people realize. Yes it's true that some people have a type, but how often do we go out in search of an exact clone of the person that just broke our heart? How often do we project all of our hopes and aspirations for a relationship gone awry onto a new person simply because they slightly resemble a love of yore?
I've always said that it would be nice if men were like cars. There should be a website in which you can customize your beau and endow him with all of the features that you ever wanted in a guy. Isn't that how Stephenie Meyer created the fictitious Edward Cullen? Well, as ideal as it may be, much like the fictional Edward Cullen, a "perfect" man would never keep you on your toes. He would get stale and boring very quickly.
Life is all about appreciating the drama. After all, you can't experience the highs without the lows. And my point to this posting is that nobody is 100% replaceable. Try as you might, there is no way to turn Clone Ronnie into Real Ronnie. If you try too hard to replace the one that you are pining for, you risk heartbreak all over again - both for you and your new man.
Remember that even identical twins do not have the same personalities. Even if you find someone who resembles your former flame in the physical sense, you can't expect them to act the same way as well, nor can you expect that they will make you feel the same. My advice to anyone that is struggling with a love gone awry is to take some time and heal from it. Don't go to the temple looking to snag yourself a new Jew. Either repair what was wrong with the old one, or go on a new path entirely.
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